Alex was at his lowest three years ago as he was booked into the King County Jail on domestic violence charges. After nine years, all the pain and trauma of his emotionally and psychologically abusive behavior had come to a head. He went to the apartment of his girlfriend, the mother of his two children, thinking he could convince her to return to him through manipulation or threats of self-harm and physical violence against her. She called the police. Alex ran, but then he stopped, aware this wasn’t the life he wanted for himself or his family. Things were broken and he didn’t know how to fix them. He came back and turned himself in to the police.
Alex credits his personal growth to Wellspring’s Domestic Violence Intervention Program. Through self-reflection and the group accountability and support of the program, Alex has uncovered and reconnected to some formative traumatic early childhood memories. He has grown to understand the depression, anxiety, and self-loathing that drove his violent, controlling behavior in the past and the relationships between that behavior and those formative traumatic childhood experiences.
Today Alex volunteers with the Shoreline Police Department, counseling couples on the warning signs of domestic violence, teaching couples how to recognize dangerous patterns of behavior, to identify the emotional triggers, and to change things before they escalate to the point at which he found himself.
Alex found the strength to heal, grow, and nurture the man and father he aspires to be through the lens of his two daughters. Alex has nearly completed his court-mandated DV training, he continues to attend DV Dads and he meets regularly with his counselor. He has taken control of the depression that used to control him, and while he knows that he can’t fix what he has broken in his past, he now looks to the future with hope and compassion for himself. He sees an end to the cycle of violence and trauma that led him down the dark path of self-hatred and abuse. He sees a future where he helps other people, the way Wellspring helped him.